A couple of years ago I asked one of my favorite students: "If the desire for love is universal, why is it so hard to find?" I was referring to romantic love. However, for many even something as basic as parental love can be difficult to find. Why is it hard? I was brought up … Continue reading Why love is so hard to find

There is nothing more important to me than presence. The amount of presence can turn a high moment into a transcendent moment while turning a low moment into an invaluable learning opportunity. Lack of presence creates a scripted life that I fear most people live. By scripted life I mean an individual becomes an actor … Continue reading On presence

My partner must work hard and make a steady living -- yet he or she must be present and available to me at all times. My partner must be unique and independent -- yet change in every way that suits me. My partner must love me unconditionally -- yet his or her doing so is … Continue reading Five relationship contradictions

Dear students: The hardest part of my job was to say goodbye to all of you over the years, and, in some cases, to not have the chance to say goodbye at all. Teaching is hard work. Make no mistake about it. It's harder than being a student. The beautiful part of being a student … Continue reading Open letter to my students

What is this relationship? mutual dependency? mutual love? mutual attraction? nothing mutual at all/a balance of interests? something to tell your friends about? a means in which to rehash childhood pain? a means in which to replay relationships with your parents? Why this person? Would I be happier with this person than without? Would I … Continue reading Relationships: Questions to ask yourself

I am a big fan of the tragic hero. For those who are unfamiliar, a tragic hero is a central figure in a story who, despite his best efforts and intentions, fails miserably. Think Oedipus. Hamlet is perhaps my favorite example from literature, even though it could be argued that through vengeance he succeeds in … Continue reading Tragic Hero

1. Employment is tied to self-worth. In the United States -- at least on the East Coast for sure -- a person's worth (especially if that person is male) is determined by that person's job. The days of respect for the starving artist and/or Bohemian seem to be gone. In Washington, D.C., for example, the … Continue reading Four things that suck about unemployment

Oh, pain You thrive on fear I will not let you hold me In your icy grip I will struggle against your current No matter how strong I will defeat you With this defiant song

I just learned that May is Mental Health Awareness Month. My perspective on this issue has changed dramatically throughout my life. As a child, it did not even register. I did not view my father's history of addiction or my grandmother's lack of consideration for others as mental health issues. I do not know to … Continue reading On mental health